Our inability to express ourselves
Every morning we celebrate the mysteries of the Holy Eucharist here at the Oblate residence at 08:00am. The chapel is small and very simple. The altar, vestments and paraments are all very simple. And there is a profound beauty to the community that is there, I find. The Oblate fathers, a woman connected with the Order and a lost seminarian from the Netherlands.
It is not a very solemn Mass, but I find it prayerful nonetheless. Today, while speaking the consecration words, Fr. Susaj extended the chalice towards us and from the corner of my eye I saw this older woman bow slightly, and heard the priest next to me whispering some words after the consecration. And I thought of how awkward that bow looked, and whether it was necessary or not and about my posture and my words right after the consecration: “Lord, wash me in your Holy Blood” (see the book of the Apocalypse, where the 144,000 are washed white in the Blood of the Lamb) or: “My Lord and my God” (the apostle Thomas, when he recognized the Lord after his resurrection).
I suddenly noticed my hands were folded and that I, too, had my own silly ways and words at that very moment that I saw this older woman make a sort of awkward bow. And then it struck me, how we are just trying in our own ways to express what we feel at that moment. I have heard a lot of comments on the posture of people during Mass, even in our own seminary chapel. Sometimes people make fun of the posture when people seat themselves on the floor and bow over completely during adoration. Others are more expressive in their gestures, which provokes comments from another group of people.
But really, all gestures and words fall short… but as long as they come from your heart and are not inappropriate, they are all meant to express the smallness we feel in the face of this great miracle.
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